Three words that have truly helped me in building my relationships

"FROM NEXT TIME..."

Your son didn’t follow the deadlines set

Your husband forgot to get you flowers

Your employee got late

The staff used the wrong crockery

Daily disappointments cause a lot of grief

And can totally turn a very positive day into a spiral downwards

If u say things like you never remember to

Always I only have to

Why am I being taken for granted

Then your expectations are not being matched

If that is the case

Instead of turning into the angry 😡 monster

Try keeping your calm and explaining in a gentle manner

If it was easy we all would be Lil Buddha’s walking around zen like

What I’ve learnt is a few things happen when we say

From next time

1) the person does not get defensive

2) he / she understand your expectation/ instructions more clearly

3) you give them a loophole therefore u don’t damage their ego

4) you can explain without getting angry

5) you keep the responsibility on yourself that maybe you did not communicate properly

6) people are not scared to make mistakes around you

7) you have a mature conversation

8) you come from a place of love not fear

9) you reduce conflict in your life without having to keep quiet and letting the other person know your requirement

10) you slowly become calmer realising one there is always a next time two it’s not what u say but how u say that matters most

Sweetheart FROM NEXT TIME could you please ensure you follow the timings I suggest u start putting an alarm

Or staff FROM NEXT TIME can you please use these cups always for filter coffee

Or FROM NEXT TIME can we have a proper code of conduct please around timing in our office and clear repercussions when someone does not follow them.

Can you see just three words can delay if not avoid an argument ....

Do try it ..... I use it all the time

And though a very simple technique I find it very useful as I’m extremely demanding of the people around me.

This gives them a “scope to improve situation”.